Dating – Relationship tips from a positive angle (1)

With Love Larmie

Dating is an essential part of a relationship. It requires two teams to be on the same page to get the dice rolling. Some people may not be too quick to commit immediately because of the last heartbreak. If you are dating someone, you have your hopes up finding a committed relationship. You are dating because you see a potential in your partner, you see a flower you can nurture to blossom.

Dating isn’t quite as simple and easy as it is, it takes patience, time and so much more to offer. You would agree with me that everyone wants a perfect relationship but not everyone is lucky enough to get one. On the contrary, getting it right in your relationship should be a step to forever.

Here are few tips on what to look out for while dating.

Physical look- Let’s not lie to each other, some say it doesn’t matter, well I think it does matter. Your partner may not be the spec you visualized but definitely not someone you’re ashamed to introduce to your friends because of their looks. You see why it matters.

Honesty– Honestly, getting to know each other is a major part to getting acquainted. When your partner isn’t honest about things you talk about then they ain’t ready. Each partner should be trustworthy.

Know the reason why your last relationship didn’t work out- If you’re dating each other, you can as well know the reasons why each of your past relationship didn’t work out, just so you don’t repeat this mistakes, nothing attached. Your partner’s relationship may not work out due to trust issues, so you should be aware, get to know what matters.

Pay attention to how your partner makes you feel– You are going to spend a lot of time with your partner, study how they make you feel, don’t rush into committing, try to take it slow and see how it goes.

Communication – There should be a flow in communication, try to connect and reach out, it shows how much you care. Communicating actually helps the relationship stay really active and good to go.

So for the relationship to be successful amongst both parties, this attributes must be mutual.

This is part of what I feel you should look out for in the process, it makes it a lot easier to step up the game and balance the equation.

What do you look out for in a relationship?Love to hear from you in the comments!

Also, if you want to have a guest post up, you can mail me via mindpilot2020@gmail.com

Xoxo

Larmie ✌️

The Party Gist with Larmie

Welcome back guys! I hope you had a great week, today’s blogpost unlike any other isn’t one of my regular posts.

Disclaimer: No one is perfect and there is no reason to act perfectly. This is based on a personal experience and opinion.

This blogpost wasn’t scheduled for today but thanks to a place I went yesterday and a chat with a friend.

Guys, this one is for you, please I repeat guysss! Please be polite when talking to girls, it is totally amazing when you start chatting and all but what might have occurred before getting to know each other could be something to laugh about. Meeting people and chatting with them comes with an opportunity, the situation you find or meet someone could be good or bad.

What am I driving at? Guys, talking or asking a girl out is not suppose to be aggressive, a lot happens and situations come up, when you find yourself in such situations, be man enough to manage the situation. Asking a girl out is not a war, you wouldn’t die I tell you, and it’s not a do or die affair. It does not require so much pressure.

You should not be angry when you hear her turn you down. NO is not a bad thing like you imagine. So get to know a lady and politely ask her out.

Few tips when you see someone you’re interested in; ask her politely to talk, ask her name and interact, just be freeeeeeeee. I know sometimes some girls can be hard to please but trust me, it’s probably the way you ask her or how you acted. How can you drag a girl and think she will talk to you? You stylishly hold hands with her without her permission, isn’t that rude?

At an event yesterday, while I was taking pictures with my friends, this particular guy after taking pictures with the celebrants just held my hand and drew me towards his friends without my permission, it was so annoying that my friend (a guy) was so pissed and he took my hands and led me away from the guy saying he is so rude and he disagrees with his way. I totally agree, he probably thought his looks would make the best of that or the magic hands was the best option.

I personally think he was rude, he could have walked up to me and try start a conversation, why drag me like you know me from Adam or I am your little sister. I can’t forget the look on his face when my friend led me away from him. He was like ahhhhh, it was so funny.

Well, life is good when the equation is balanced. You don’t act so proud and mighty because you think it will make a girl fall for you. This is the 21st century guys! Step up your game!

High five to Blessing for supplying the ginger for this gist on the blog and let us chat and laugh about it. I thought I will share with you guys. What is your opinion about asking a girl out? Let me know in the comment.

Thanks for reading 💃

Like what you read, don’t forget to comment, like and share the link.

Xoxo

Affirmative statements to tell yourself

Earn it and you will own it
With love Larmie

Hi guys! Welcome back to my blog, I hope all that concerns you are going well? Some stuff happened during the weekday and prompted this blogpost and amazingly i am working on it, so yeah! (Smiling) well I felt I needed to share it with y’all by writing on what helped me get through it. Yes, and they were self affirmative statements! I hope you like it.

So I learnt that one of the most amazing way to keep it going is giving yourself reassurance. Life is good when you live in it with positive vibes, you would agree with me that every one has a unique way of saying things to themselves, having deep conversations with one’s self and making some decisions even without the help of others.

Living life I have learnt to say positive things and think positive thoughts. Inner conversations have a way of getting through to us and every single decision we make either positively or negatively will tell on our faces in a tickle of the time. Wherever you find yourself, be grateful for what you have and what you are working towards to get. Say positive things to yourself and work towards your goal. The goal you created is on a scale of zero no one can push you harder to get to your desired number except you push yourself. Your inner conversations know what it is your friend doesn’t and that’s because you will tell yourself first before any other person and that makes you unique.

I have compiled a list of affirmative statements you should tell yourself anywhere, either you’re in a dark room, an empty room, the front of a mirror, a camera, behind the camera and anywhere you can find yourself, these reassuring statements should be said to yourself, because you deserve better and you deserve more.

1. I can do it and I will do it!

2. I can make a difference

3. I deserve better

4. I love my imperfections they make me better (I am not perfect, If mistakes happen along the way I will let it mould me to a better person)

5. I choose to be happy 🤗

6. My opinion matters!

7. I am extraordinarily grateful

8. I am unique

9. I will do my best, I can do better

10. I am one of the strongest people I know

11. I am proud of myself!

12. I will win! Not immediately but definitely

You need to know that happiness is found within, you have to make yourself happy, think positively and know that your smile is contagious( ps smile often, it reduces stress). Lucille Belt says “ love yourself first and everything else will fall in line….” You are the boss of your life and you really have to love yourself to get anything done uniquely. You stand a chance to be better and get better. Just do it!

Like what you read, don’t forget to comment, like and share the link.

Thanks for reading 💃

Xoxo

The importance of knowing your self!

Hello there! Thanks for coming back. On today’s blog post I will be walking you through the importance of knowing yourself. I know it sounds cliche but sharing my thoughts about it is reassuring.

You would agree with me that knowing yourself is knowing your fears, knowing your do’s and don’ts, accepting who you are, knowing your weakness and your strength, accepting the fact that you are who you are and no one else can be you. Knowing yourself is accepting you are a gem; you’re one of a kind.

On a journey of self discovery, knowing yourself is knowing your desires and dreams, your passion and fears, likes and dislikes, tolerance and limitation, and also your personality. Truly knowing yourself means you recognize your purpose in life.
Well, it turns out finding out who you are is one way to walk through life head high. Some people don’t realize their purpose in time, not because they do not know but they haven’t found the timing to reassure themselves of who they are.

You should chase your dreams , know your passion, know what you love, know who you’re, realize how much you mean to yourself, know your worth!
Moving on, I am going to enlighten you on why it is important to know yourself. Knowing yourself in a nutshell is knowing your purpose in life or knowing your nature. So I listed a few tips on what you should consider as knowing yourself.

Know your worth

You can’t determine your self worth if you don’t believe in yourself. When you have confidence in your own abilities and everything that represents you then you know your worth. Ensure to boost your self esteem and take. responsibility for yourself knowing fully well that nobody is perfect.

Know what you are passionate about

Realizing what you’re most passionate about would pave way for you to be more happy, because when you love what you do, you would be happier, and expressing yourself would help you in achieving greatness and help you realize what needs more attention in your life.

Take time to understand what you want to be not what people want you to be

Everyone has a dream but truly not everyone works towards achieving these dreams. If you’re truly passionate about what you want, you would work towards getting it. Do not do it because people want you to, pull the people’s mask off and live the life you deserve. Do what makes you happy, encourage yourself, and push yourself because no one else will push you hard.

Know yourself

Yes, you should take time to know yourself, respect your decision and this I tell you would help you with your decision making ranging from what you want to wear to your own birthday party, to who you want to spend your entire life with. If you understand what motivates you, you are good to go.

Listen to what others have to say about you

Listening to feedback from others on what they have to say about you helps you realize where you need to make amends or perhaps what you need to change to do it right. If two or more persons say the same thing on something you are on, then make corrections but if you think you’re right then you should be stern on knowing their opinion doesn’t matter.

Thanks for reading!

Xoxo

Picture credit: Pinterest

An Impact for Eternity

The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering. Bruce Lee

Welcome back to my page! How is life been lately? This isn’t one of the topics I would talk about lightly but it’s fair enough to dive and mention some few things. Let’s go!!

You see, the difference between life and death is the blink of an eye, when you close your eyes, you see darkness and when you open it you see light. The power of death can be explained while sleeping, if we sleep we don’t know where we are.
The power of death is inevitable, the alarm only disturbs your sleep it doesn’t wake you up! Nature does wake you up. In living our lives we need to live like it’s our last.

Living life is making yourself happy, fulfilling your dreams and encouraging others to live life and make memories. For each specie created by God, none has the utmost power to know when they were born, that same way no one would know when they would leave.

The focus of this blog is the impact you should make while you’re still alive, what have you used your talent to do? Who have you helped? Of what use is your help even after you are gone? What difference have you made?
Did you even check up on those who deserved it, not to mention those who don’t. Making a difference no matter how small is a big difference made.

If you die, what is left of you? Where do you want to go? What should people talk about you? What impact did you leave? How many people did you put a smile on their face? What do you want people to say after you leave? When you leave the world how many people would gladly say; Vicky is gone but he/she has made some impact in my life and it is evident in me. All this should ring a bell that to who do I owe all that I have. How do I share and help others. Here on earth we met all these riches, same way we will still leave it here on earth. What matters is the people we put a smile on their face, the impact we made.

Are you wondering how can I be of help? How do I make a difference? I don’t even earn much yet, how on earth can I be different? Yes, this questions should run through your mind and of course you can help, give alms when you can, render help not to those who ask alone but even to those that it is glaring to you that they need it. Not to show them you have more than they do but to show them how much you care. Helping shouldn’t be using your money alone but doing things that don’t require money too. Volunteer; it makes life easier, help those who you can, that’s your little way of showing you care.

This challenge is what we face everyday, so ask yourself whose life am I changing? Whose life have I changed? What impact have I made in the society? Remember, one act of kindness can change ones life for good.

Lastly, Live everyday like it’s your last because, surely one day you would be right!!!👌

So ensure to stay grateful and also remember to help others, show love, care and enjoy life.

-Mindpilot

Thanks for reading !

Yaaaasss! There you go, if you have one or two lessons to share, do explore the comment. Don’t forget to like and share👍

Xoxo

Why wait, if you can get it done sooner!!

Did you ever decide to complete an important task just before the end of 2 hours or more and before you knew it, you were up doing something else totally different from that task you had scheduled for the moment. Did I hear you just murmur to yourself “Yes”

I know right! Just like you ever sat to start a task and before you knew it, it is left undone because you remembered you have a movie episode you have to watch or then you have not fed your dog or you just have to go on WhatsApp to wish a friend a happy birthday and off you go surfing the net. Later you come to realize your important work was left undone. Oh dear, that is not you been unserious but “PROCRASTINATING” yes, you just kept on procrastinating.

Procrastination is the avoidance of doing a task that needs to be done by a certain deadline, it could also be said to be an intentional delay of starting or finishing a task despite knowing it might have negative consequences.

People leave their work left undone for different reasons but one of them is procrastination, permit me to say “Shii can be deadly”. You end up not doing the work you have assigned to be done at a certain time because you choose something else over it. Sometimes what you choose over it may be worth it but trust me, many a times it’s not worth it. Now let’s do something, I will tell you about the different procrastinators, you would tell me the group you fall in. Isn’t that fair enough? I am smiling right now, writing that anyway!

Sometimes some persons delay work intentionally and that’s maybe because they need a solid breakthrough to do what needs to be done and then, they end up having it done quite late, those are the anxious procrastinators.

Moving on, you would agree with me that writing a project or a thesis requires materials to be sourced, read and digested to come about something new using existing literature. This is a perfect example to describe a perfectionist procrastinator. He or she would want a perfect job done thereby procrastinating unintentionally just to get a perfect result.

Now, some people procrastinate for fun, these people find themselves saying I would do it in 30 minutes and then 30 minutes becomes an hour, an hour then a day, maybe a week. They end up doing it but all it has to be is Later. They are the fun procrastinators, they find other fun things to do rather than that task.

Then we have the plenty of time procrastinators, these persons usually procrastinate due to the plenty of time they have to work on their project and this makes work slower, but because the deadline is long, they find it difficult to start.

So why wait till it affects you, find the potential strategy to overcome procrastination. How do you overcome procrastination? To overcome it, set personal deadlines to help you reach your goal and also tell others about it. This commitment will help you get your work done faster.

I hope you find this really great and do not forget that you have a thousand years to live so do what is best for you at the right time. Marcus Aurelius

So, we have come to the end of today’s blogpost, don’t forget to tell me the group you fall in as a procrastinator in the comments.

Thanks for reading!

Till the next post when I come to give you quotes on procrastination, work on not been a procrastinator.

Xoxo

Rape Culture: No should mean No!

Hi guys!! So the news about rape has been going on for a while but recently spun again starting with an innocent girl who was raped and brutally murdered, very disheartening and disturbing. I didn’t know how to go about this or an idea on how to explain this issue but there is need to be a stop on women been abused. Recently following the update of the unfortunate events on rape taking place in the Nigeria society, it’s so saddening and heart breaking that girls/women are being molested and raped. I am tired of this! We are tired of this and it’s very devastating. There should be a means to deal with this, so the people committing this act do not get away with it.

Rape means the act of forcing a person to submit to sexual intercourse against their will.

This act is disgusting and not helpful. The way a female dresses is not an option to rape her! The way she looks is not an option for rape! Where she goes is not an option for rape! No should mean No!

Raping isn’t an option, so many lives are dishonored. It could be a 5 minutes enjoyment for the accused but it’s a life time of distraction, depression, anger and stress for the Victim. There are things we need to be aware of;

Educate yourself: This should not be something you should just talk about because people are, be well informed and know what is right before you misjudge someone.

Help the victims who are involved and give them a chance to talk: Help them heal, help them get past the moment and assure them they can stand with their face up. They don’t have to hide their sorrow and let the accused get away with it. A lot of victims are not giving the chance to explain themselves, they can’t share their feelings and that’s because people end up shutting them down.

If you have no knowledge about this cases, please shut up! I am so sorry if that sounds offensive, I just had to say it. A lot of people go around saying things they have no idea about which is really wrong. Don’t say things that might get people angry and all. If you have no idea how people feel and can’t add anything good to it, my advice is that you keep your lame thoughts to yourself.

Don’t blame the victims: You might do more harm than expected when you blame the victim, it isn’t their fault and they didn’t choose to be molested. Please be mindful of the word that pop out your mouth when consoling a rape victim. It should be an act to drive them past the bad memories not to judge them.

Spread the word: Use your voice no matter how small, this is my way of using my voice. Be an advocate for this and let people be aware it isn’t the right decision to make.

Parents should educate their children: Sex education should not be something new to a child, when they are of age let them know so they can protect themselves. Sex education shouldn’t be something a girl should learn from her peers, it could be a wrong decision. Our parents can do more by helping their wards.

In the end, a lot of rape cases can’t be reported due to shame of the victims and a lot of people misjudging them. The few who can report are shut down and harassed at the end. The blame is on them which is unfair. A woman’s way of dressing should not be an act to judge her. Her body shape shouldn’t be a reason to rape her. Just like Omolara Oriye (a human rights activist and lawyer) said “Don’t reward me with your Penis” Stop making the women the victims.

Women deserve better, women deserve more, they also have blood running through their veins, they have feelings and emotions. They deserve better!

Use your voice no matter how small!
End rape culture!
Stop raping women!
There is no excuse for rape!
Rape isn’t an option! No means No!!

Thanks for reading!

Don’t forget to share your thoughts in the comment!!

Xoxo

The act of Forgiveness

Hiiiiii! Thanks for always coming back! I am glad you’re here to read my next post, by the way I hope you’re staying safe?

Today’s post is about Forgiveness and why you should forgive? Holding a grudge isn’t the best way to live life, you should forgive people and let go.

You can’t change anyone except yourself, learn to forgive even yourself when necessary.

A lot of people move around holding grudges against one another. The funny thing is some people don’t even know they messed with you and you are angry at them. If you don’t make it known that someone hurt you, they may never find out. Why don’t you make it easy for them by letting it go. If you would find peace by talking to them about it then proceed or better still talk to someone else to lift the burden and be at ease, so you can be free.

When you hold grudges against people and don’t learn the act of forgiveness you imprison yourself, you get lost in yourself and only forgiveness can help you find yourself.

The moment you’re lost, it takes a while to find you within you.
There was a moment in my life that my friend got me angry, hurt my feelings and realized, but never asked for forgiveness. I was waiting for the apology which never came but I was also in guilt and I convinced myself I wasn’t at fault.

So you need to know that some people will know they hurt you but would not ask for forgiveness so you should not wait for them and just let it go if not it will keep eating you up.

I am a victim, even I find it hard to forgive myself when I have done something really bad, the fact that I realized it and can’t get my self to even think about the moment is self destructive.
Until I was able to defend my self and explain vividly to myself that it’s not my fault and I would have done it a better way, then I was able to forgive myself. The moment I did, I was free and trust me the feeling of freedom is unique. So when you realize you hold no grudge against no one and not even yourself, you would be different and it is amazing. So I want you to experience this too by learning to forgive.

If you hold a grudge for too long, you kill yourself with guilt, pain, depression and overthinking. This are not healthy for you, they make you feel unprotected.

When you forgive, you become brand new, you become the boss. You are not forgiving them because you feel it is necessary but because it is worth doing. You are forgiving them because it makes you a better person, it makes you whole and gives you a fresh breath. You owe yourself that much.

Indira Ghandi says “Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave” Are you brave enough to let go and move on? I ll leave you to answer that.

I hope you learn to forgive sooner than later. I am not an expert at forgiving but I try my best to clear the air and do what is right because it makes me a better person.

If you haven’t followed my blog, please do! Like, comment and see you next time!

Once again, thanks for reading!

Xoxo

End of Ramadan is not the End!

Yesterday marked the end of Ramadan (Alhamdullilah) and today Eid is being celebrated.
The moon wasn’t sighted on Friday which prompted all Muslims round the world to take a fast on Saturday for the completion of the 30 days Ramadan fast.

Ramadan is the ninth month of the Islamic calendar for Muslims worldwide. In the holy month of Ramadan comes fasting (sawn) and takes 30 days except for the sight of the moon which sometimes makes it 29. Fasting is one of the five pillars of Islam which is observed in the holy month of Ramadan.

The five pillars of islam which are;
Faith (shahada)
Prayer (salat)
Alms giving (zakat)
Fasting (sawn)
Pilgrimage (hajj) are considered mandatory by believers and the foundation of Muslims. These five pillars revolve around Muslims.

Ramadan is a month for fasting, worshipping, atonement, giving alms, caring and been at your best behavior.
In accordance to this, Muslims restrain from sexual relations, bad behavior, sinful acts and sinful languages.

Ramadan is a month that Muslims round the globe look forward too and welcome with joy, love and happiness. It’s a special month that comes with a lot of goodies to go round.

For a true Muslim, End of Ramadan is not “The End” but start of a New Journey leading towards The Jannah.

To celebrate the completion of the 30 days fast here are some things you shouldn’t stop doing after the holy month passes.

Praying– It is the soul of a Muslim, for every moment that you live, you should pray and worship your God. Don’t be a servant of Ramadan just because of the fast but be consistent and continue to serve Allah. Make duas for your brothers, sisters, family and friends in good heart and with love.

Charity– Ensure you give alms as long as you can, giving back isn’t going to hurt, it makes you closer to your God.

Eating– Ensure to continue eating good food and stay healthy, it keeps you going and remember to share when you have more than enough to go round.

Love– Share and spread love. Worship at your local mosque, get to know people and network. The little you share can go a long way for others, remember love is mutual.

Reading the Holy Quran– Don’t be in a haste to accept only the blessings of Ramadan, when there is more to be achieved. Read the Holy Book even after the end of Ramadan and follow the light so it brightens and pave way for good deeds.

Preach peace and Love- Islam is a religion of peace and love, continue to spread peace and love amongst each other and help each other accomplish that which may seem difficult.

Oh Allah accept our Duas and make us a better person. May Allah continue to give us wisdom, peace and prosperity. May HE bless us with wealth, happiness and a healthy life to live long and worship him. Wishing you a blessed and prosperous Eid-filtr coupled with amazing joyous moments with family and friends to inspire you with courage and strength to help you win every challenge of life. Amin

Have a blessed Eid
Farewell Gracious Ramadan, you will be dearly missed! Till we meet again in health, wealth, prosperity and faith.

Thanks for reading
Mindpilot

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, comment and share!!!

Happy Holidays

Xoxo

The Underrated Judgement🙏🏻🙏🏼🙏🏽

Great piece from Ava, I hope you would learn a thing too. Don’t be too quick to judge! Do enjoy this beautiful post👍

“Don’t judge” is a common phrase which we all have heard of and we too also use it as a joke or an excuse, but the truth is that judgement is …

The Underrated Judgement🙏🏻🙏🏼🙏🏽